Just let it happen - Why unconditional basic trust is so incredibly important and what it does to children. That's exactly what we talked about in today's episode of the Children and Books PodCast with Bell.
She shared her experiences from her job as a therapist and also talked about what it was like for her to record our audio book - The Valley by the River :D
Glad you listened and see you on the next episode :D
Here ist the link to Belindas Site: www.playfulwellbeing.com
Here is our Blog-Page: http://lubina-hajduk.com/your-inner-child?lang=en
My children's books: https://amzn.to/3lNasMP
00:00:06: Hello and welcome to the children in books podcast
00:00:09: today we want to talk about the inner child enough and for that we have a lovely girl that introduces
00:00:17: thanks yes my name is Belinda and
00:00:23: first and foremost a drama therapist
00:00:31: things that bring playing healing I say hopefully into a world in between JAMA therapy and being a clown.
00:00:42: I think that covers most things,
00:00:48: wow betrayed introduction what what comes to mind when we talk about the inner child what other the main topics that you were thinking about.
00:01:01: But it's interesting because I work as a therapist mostly with adults.
00:01:10: But I have children a lot before indeed still work for some children so inner child such an informative part of Us.
00:01:25: Whether it was a fantastic childhood childhood you know and down here we are and it stays with us.
00:01:38: And so I suppose part of my adults and particular to try and support people to get in touch with her in a child if they've lost touch with.
00:01:47: And to start the healing process from.
00:01:52: Is Dumbo a powerful tool to connect with my own and child with other people,
00:02:02: that's what comes up to me when we think he's that say hello to hallo from night very happy to have you here because we get in touch on a play full movie.
00:02:17: With our clowning until 34 you mentioned it with other people too,
00:02:23: it was so lovely to to see you and to I'm very happy to know you now.
00:02:30: Me too playful energy yes for sure and I think you and I,
00:02:43: particular place or connection we really enjoyed.
00:02:47: Minutes of planning together in a child.
00:02:53: How to connect a very strongly yes yes more than we can say with words.
00:03:02: Exactly yeah I think that's an important thing to name isn't it.
00:03:10: That sometimes the words get in the way,
00:03:13: or sometimes words can be a very grown up adult things that we used to avoid connection that could have with somebody.
00:03:26: Yes at times you can you get the connection more deeply or more directly without words.
00:03:34: But sometimes you need them yes that's true,
00:03:39: sometimes we need them I don't want to do this word spell very helpful like here we need them we do not send over the internet
00:03:52: who found this during the pandemic,
00:04:01: it is lovely when we make those connections without works isn't it the clown and Abel's has to do that in such and such a playful way and,
00:04:13: thinking about Powell what were just thinking about the stories that I told.
00:04:21: As we've been talking about medina's stories over the last few weeks in these podcast but the words tell the story but also the characters hold the story the
00:04:34: illustrations to tell the story as well and so there's lots of different ways to communicate I guess.
00:04:43: Yes I hadn't thought about that in terms of living in stories but absolutely it's something about appealing to lots of the different senses isn't there and it's lovely too.
00:04:57: Have been stories as well as pictures and sounds.
00:05:05: It's like a whole body experience to experience her stories will be soon anyway yeah.
00:05:15: And how was it for you because maybe we can now see you Belinda will be the Speaker of our English,
00:05:24: recordings of the audio books and how was it to record it to to go because I think you need to go die Twitter
00:05:36: who is really interesting because it took me a while to answer.
00:05:42: That's very task orientated adult space of is everything setup correctly is a quiet technology going to work.
00:05:51: Series 3 the first story several times because I think I said you take forward to reach,
00:06:04: it's just a really magical experience,
00:06:11: I think it did really take me back to that place as a child I felt very.
00:06:17: Barry connector site in a child and just remembering all the stories that have been told to me particularly my dad doing lots of different voices for the stories,
00:06:29: so I feel like a little bit of him.
00:06:36: Knowing in using she's in the voices but yes it was really lovely too,
00:06:44: just start to find a rhythm with it to start picturing the characters I felt really I felt like I was in the Valley by the river.
00:06:56: But a good 2 hours as I did it was just lovely and I felt so refreshed afterwards because I felt like I had been in the woods in the meadow,
00:07:04: and on the river and drinking tea,
00:07:07: for me it was it was like once I was
00:07:16: once I was in the flow of it the thank you thank you for that
00:07:23: and ice I think because I have got the lactose that I have listened to it at the others don't have but I think
00:07:32: we feel it when we hear it we feels a magical place where you have been and refills Arisen which you get in touch 2.
00:07:42: It's really magical so it's not long about 6-weeks then we all can hear it and the bit scary isn't it because we,
00:07:56: I think I lost it there still a bit embarrassed at the sound of our own voice experience and m.
00:08:06: To hear it really I think I will remember the magic of doing it and I really hope that whoever listens to it he is that magic and feels that magic as well.
00:08:19: It's like a magical fairy with talking it to the children to hear the audio book.
00:08:34: I can't wait to see you.
00:08:37: I'm actually that sounds like you you touched your own in a child in that process of Reading labina story.
00:08:47: And it's sunny because my have always been my favourite animal.
00:08:53: And as a child which was it nice so.
00:09:07: Yeah and her friend and I had to I had two pet mice as a child.
00:09:14: So it was.
00:09:18: Yourselves again with these to these two little.
00:09:24: Pet mice that were my best friends and I used to love reading stories about mice as well please.
00:09:33: Story after story about my Facebook took so yeah it was a privilege to get to voice.
00:09:42: Mice the hopefully other young children that will enjoy stories about about animals,
00:09:50: lovely lovely stories they really take me back to.
00:10:00: Watching cartoons about a really really special have been.
00:10:11: Thank you intend to go back to you or work doing use stories or books for,
00:10:21: for your work with children.
00:10:27: Instead of fairy fairy tales folktales and old-time myths if you like Greek myths really powerful I think that adults and children but children just Dance.
00:10:40: It's the world that they live in a world of the imagination and the fantasy stories are really important part in the stories as well.
00:10:54: So often we might read a story together or a child might read one of the stories and then we'll.
00:11:01: Will just spontaneously move into in acting and I want to be the main character and I'm normally the baddie that they get to kill
00:11:20: and amusing story is that there's a story on the page then there's the story that takes off in their mind.
00:11:27: You can go and any direction and we see that story several times and each time,
00:11:34: what's the weather different ending or it might get even more.
00:11:41: Even more Wiles and stuff fantastic and they start to feel that they have permission to do with it to do so yeah fantastic.
00:11:52: Accessing what's most important to us I think.
00:11:58: I'm getting it you no answer to being allowed into a child's world.
00:12:06: Share a story with a child and then you both both in the same world aren't you and you can be there together,
00:12:13: explore it together in such a wonderful when you find that connection.
00:12:20: Huge part of the work.
00:12:24: Yeah so so it's really important to be in touch with your inner child and that playfulness within you to be able to 600se.
00:12:38: Has to be careful because it's really important in that spaces of therapists be in touch with your playful in a child,
00:12:51: pedal Citroen show that you've always got a fit in your adult self as well.
00:12:56: You know that you're not.
00:13:02: Anything that because you know we've also got a bit of a hurting the child in ourselves as well haven't we,
00:13:11: the perfect childhood people have a really wonderful childhood but there's always and hurting car in all of us for that's a big thing for me.
00:13:25: It's really important that I've done enough work on my hurting parts and no but it's not going to
00:13:31: and when I'm working for therapists so that I'm such as my playful side and with my adult side that's grounded in the bits done enough work.
00:13:45: To keep things really safe keep myself safe keep the child all the adults so yeah.
00:13:56: So you hold the frame and then you let it develop.
00:14:03: Lovely putting it
00:14:07: you always have one one hand on the frame is a frame hold up like the parent is with the child
00:14:21: the pear,
00:14:23: gets involved but also stops the child from running into the road or on the table,
00:14:32: knocking my head and say it yeah,
00:14:43: get as much as possible which means that we is therapists bullying theirselves.
00:14:54: Make sure that no one is running into the road as it were.
00:15:03: Holding onto that role of died I quite like that.
00:15:13: Yeah that's lovely travelling well.
00:15:20: Yeah because I think as a therapist you you're travelling with somebody.
00:15:28: Got possibly got a bit.
00:15:33: I see more of the kind of bits of equipment that I needed to go on the journey you're still genuine with somebody.
00:15:43: I don't fully know what that do anything to look like.
00:15:47: That's a first on the way yeah and on the way together you wake up,
00:15:56: very powerful energies was also interested in your opinion on.
00:16:05: On the topic does the image height involve by timeline do you have the same in a child as if you're in the dark maybe you can 30 as you had one
00:16:17: how do you think it may be changed.
00:16:21: Speaking from my own I don't I think we've all got different journeys.
00:16:34: My sense is that.
00:16:39: Have the opportunity to experience things differently from when we were children,
00:16:47: so maybe she might go and lives in a different cultural setting we might meet people.
00:16:57: To have a profound impact on our lives and we might had a very difficult childhood and need to heal from that.
00:17:07: Some of us have the opportunity to know that we can hear from that I can change and so we'll go and seek support.
00:17:16: For that opportunity because they don't know their life to be different or living in poverty for example is of the things that would stop someone from,
00:17:30: getting the support that they would need so my sense is that it does it can change,
00:17:40: and sometimes we have to do that with intention sometimes we have to decide to change it.
00:17:49: That's if you know that's if ones in a child field.
00:17:54: It's very traumatised severely wounded but lots of people have a fantastic place for childhood and even if they don't they still find ways to play,
00:18:07: is that people maintain their.
00:18:10: As they reach 30 as they reach 50 I think there are lots of precious on us as adults on crash that playfulness,
00:18:22: I don't know that I answer the question but yeah my child can change and I think you can also learn to.
00:18:30: Parent for your inner child as well.
00:18:35: Child mate at the age of 35.
00:18:41: That's not fair can't believe that's happening to me and you can also in a parent and a go,
00:18:49: it's not fair is it it's ok we'll find a way to sort that out don't worry about it you can find.
00:18:57: Is lots of lots of parts of you going on inside you anyone something.
00:19:03: You can set of train yourself to train yourself to respond to your inner child in a way that feels more wise.
00:19:15: That was a great question branko and got me thinking too and I loved you I loved your response Bell and I was thinking that.
00:19:26: Baby what changes is adult self response to that in the child,
00:19:33: and you know and that changes how the inner child,
00:19:41: your hand noisy that in a child might be your help contented or you know we speak tomorrow Sam,
00:19:56: it's about the standard self-regulation about how are moth album.
00:20:02: Resolve things and find continue the journey that we were talking.
00:20:13: Right we're recording off for 27 minutes,
00:20:18: and it was such a great time I'm really really happy that we had you thank you want to do the Radio Ulster,
00:20:30: the great Owl throw so I would say thank you for your openness
00:20:36: funny open words and for your very lovely
00:20:40: I'm so happy to know you and that you have been our guest today and that you have recorded that you are recording
00:20:52: English audiobooks it makes me so happy so I say it so please wait 6-weeks around or maybe until the beginning of July we have to wait and see what I say to everybody
00:21:08: Bobby Moore goodbye arrivederci Oliver.